Christmas wish lists 2009

If we kept a monthly tally of the phrases most often spoken to our kids, "What are your socks doing there?!" would probably win eleven times a year. But not in December, when "Put it on your Christmas list" would easily top the ledger.

The crush of pre-holiday commercials and resulting desire for toys and games (I don't need a Ph.D. in social science to find a causal link) is too much for most kids to bear. The suggestion to "Put it on your list," said with a lilt to underscore its subtext -- that a loving relative or perhaps Santa Claus, the ultimate wish-fulfiller, may deliver the goods at Christmas -- is a parent's best hope for maintaining some level of sanity.

Our boys have been compiling their lists for weeks. They've flipped through the Toys 'R' Us catalog a million times, scoured various websites (especially Lego.com) and narrowed the field of choices down to the most captivating.

In the old days, these lists would have been written in crayon. Well, it's not the old days anymore. We create Word docs to keep things a little tidier and make it simple to email the lists to aunts and uncles and grandmas across the country. Our nine year-old includes the price of each of his items with corresponding links to Amazon.com. (He conscientiously limits the number of big-ticket items on his list to one or two and always includes more books than toys or video games; he gets it.)

This year, we went one step further. We created a master document on Google Docs, enabling Aunt Maria in Brooklyn to make note of any item she has picked up and help Aunt Linda in Phoenix to avoid making a duplicate purchase. It's a gift registry, with Santa authorized to both view and edit.

In theory, it's a convenient and logical system. But after having implemented it, something doesn't feel quite right. It's as if our boys are getting married and are registered at Bed Bath & Beyond. It feels just a little mercenary. We have no expectations that they will get everything or even most things on their lists, and we offer them to our family in the spirit of helping them know what the boys like. It's a step toward efficiency, but perhaps a step away from what Linus would say is "...what Christmas is all about."

So, to help us feel just a bit more comfortable with it, we're going to send Santa a hard copy as well.

The dangers of televised golf

It's tough to watch golf on TV with young kids (in this case, boys) in the vicinity. Why? As Jack Donaghy said last year on 30 Rock, "This is my show, and once a week I rent it out to the good people of the erectile dysfunction companies." Viagra and Cialis are major sponsors of golf, an old guy sport tailor-made for their products. A couple of years ago these commercials were all innuendo. No more. You better have your remote in hand when Johnny Miller throws it to a break or else be prepared to explain what an erection is. Tough also because golf on the couch lends itself beautifully to a slide into a nap on the couch. A drowsy state of consciousness, brought on by beer or by the Greater Hartford Open, affects your awareness of the need to change channels.

And now there's a much bigger landmine. Thanks, Eldrick.

Update on Batter Blaster

So I did a post recommending batter blaster and about 14 minutes later they used some kind of social media magic to find me and offer us some free samples to give away to the Dadspin audience. We've seen giveaways before at blogs and find them tedious affairs but Batter Blaster seems good and goofy enough to qualify as something most of the dads or i guess moms who read us would like.

That means we're throwing a batter blaster party! Hopefully it won't be as sad an affair as Pops last birthday party. that was like a scene out of an early Christopher Walken movie. Sad ugly people sitting around drinking copious amounts of cheap, hard alcohol and the night ends with the inevitable gunplay.

Anyway, back on topic.

We had some batter blaster with the boys last weekend (see post below) and liked it something fierce and want our kind and graceful readers to get all fattened up on the juju of Batter Blaster.

So post into our comments section something you either like about pancakes or dislike about the lameness of Pops' posts and we'll pick five from the batch to get free batter blasters.

Now go and do likewise gents. Go and do likewise.

How Batter Blaster made my kids love me a bit more than my wife

Batter Blaster is a can of pancakes.

Organic pancake batter in a co2 recyclable can. Found it at the whole foods in SF and threw it in the cart because my wife is the pancake batter maker so if I'm in charge of bfast I always default to french toast cause I can't do the pancakes. As a result my children love my wife more than me (she puts chocolate chips in the homemade batter) and I want to turn the tide a bit. Not so much that they want to play with me incessantly but you know, some.

Anyway, I got the can home and Saturday morning while she was doing some kind of overpriced, Yogalates thing, the boys and I got after the cakes.

I had them spray out the batter onto the griddle (except the little one who had to steer a bit clear of the heat). and they tried making them into kind of funny shapes but ended up using the chocolate chips we put on top as the decorating mechanism.

We got them cooking, heated up the syrup (everyone heats syrup right?) and ate them up.

We made about 20 from the can. we usually refrigerate extras. They were good. A bit more sugar or salt in the taste perhaps and not up to mom's homemade but a hell of a lot better than the frozen waffles that would have been the alternative that morning. They seem to be a good alternative to just about everything but homemade. So if you like the pancakes, and you want to be able to get them made faster, easier, cleaner etc. than homemade then go out and get a can.


Enjoy!

Halloween costumes and rookie mistakes

I understand that being a dad requires learning on-the-job. I guess that's why I sometimes get frustrated with myself for making rookie mistakes.

Case in point: my kindergartener decided a while back that he wanted to be a skeleton for Halloween. Well, about two weeks ago, I happened to pass a big Halloween store. Went in, looked around at the many, many costumes for sale (spoiler alert: Star Wars and ninja are going to be big again this year) and found a skeleton mask and gloves that are perfect for him. Paid about $15 for both and went on my way.

Then, later that day, I made my mistake. I gave it to him.

He loved his costume. Played with it over the next several days.

Now, a few days before Halloween, the thrill is gone. He wants to be something else.

How could I make this classic blunder? How could I not see that this was going to happen? After all, it happened last year, when he wanted to be Obi Wan Kenobi, and my wife made him a robe, and he played with it for the week before Halloween, and then wound up wanting to be something else (a hobo? half-Batman/half-Jedi? I can't remember) on the big day.

Someday I may learn...

The Great Peanut Butter Debate

As much as I want it to be, this is NOT about Crunchy vs. Creamy. Although if it were it would be very short and consist of one word, writ in all caps: CRUNCHY

Instead this is a post about the kind with the oil on top vs. the other (prefab) kind. This is a tricky one, to be sure. And one I've participated in many times.

Now let me start out by saying that I have a clear and stated preference for the oil kind. I think it tastes more like actual peanuts and less like some sort of light brown sugar paste which had a peanut somewhere in the next room when it was manufactured. Plus I like seeing the simple ingredients list on a jar of the oil kind: peanuts, salt. Beautiful.

Usually at this point in the discussion someone on the OTHER side will say something about what a pain the oil kind is to stir and how it gets all dried out when you keep it in the fridge. OK, I'VE GOT AN ANSWER FOR BOTH!

First the oil-stirring thing. I will admit that this is a pain. However not only is it well worth it, I will also give you a little hint regarding how to minimize this. When you buy a jar, before opening it store it UPSIDE DOWN. This gives the oil time to mix in naturally using the miracle of GRAVITY! (note that after opening and stirring you should store it right-side-up.)

Next the drying-out business. Here's the thing. I know it says "refrigerate after opening" on the jar but DON'T DO IT. I repeat: DON'T DO IT. I am somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 years old and my mom NEVER refrigerated the peanut butter, + I don't do so in our house for my kids. And none of us has ever suffered from any sort of "spoiled peanut butter" related virus. Ever.

I welcome any sort of response you might have. However I am warning you that I am right on this one. So if you must respond I would really urge you to simply agree w/ me.

P.S. I know no one asked but here are a couple more PB-related items. PB & apple slices is a favorite snack of mine, followed closely by PB & pretzel rods, + PB & banana slices.

The daily grind

All-day kindergarten is a grind. At least in the first few weeks/months. My little man breezed through the first week, then got a little balky in the second. Now, at the start of the third week, he's done with it.

"I don't want to go to school."

"It's too long."

"I'd much prefer to stay home with you, play with my Legos, and eat and drink anytime I so desire. That would be ideal. Kindergarten blows."

(I'm paraphrasing on that last one.)

He'll get through it, of course.

Homework

School is in just the second week here, but the avalanche of homework has already washed over us. Throw in soccer practice and a weekly piano lesson and there's not a lot of time for a kid to be a kid. Most of the homework falls into the category of 'drill and kill' in my opinion. The result, I'm afraid, will be a further loss of enthusiasm for school and school work. Not good. Plus, it puts the parent who happens to be home at the time, (in this case, me), in the position of taskmaster. A lose-lose situation.

The Baby Shower Gift

I'm very excited to say that I think the horrific ritual of the Jack and Jill baby shower has come and gone. I went to a couple and if that never happens again then I'll be the happier for it.

Even though I don't have to attend the blessed shower event I sometimes am asked to help with buying the baby shower gift. Additionally, as a result of writing the blog, we get asked occasionally what would be a unique gift to give(the unique part seems to be important to a lot of people). There are only three things I usually recommend:

1) The first is a sound machine. We have three boys and they are loud and the sound machine gives our youngest a chance to sleep uninterrupted. We take it on the road as well and it's not something given at baby showers too often.

2) The second is an umbrella stroller. This product is discussed in the previous post by that lousy n'er do well Gil Buckman. They're inexpensive, fun and important for people traveling, doing short trips etc.

3) Finally, my personal favorite, the Patemm Pad. We've written about this company and their products before (and one of our bloggers knows the founders through little league). They make natural, eco-friendly, round diaper changing pads. They hold a couple diapers, wipes and change of clothes, fold up nice and neat as a substitute for the big diaper bag on short trips. They are gold as a baby shower gift.

So, that's what we've got for you. If you want to forgo the dreaded diaper cake, which i think you should, enjoy these alternatives.

Stroller Mania

When our youngest was born (just shy of 11 years ago), strollers were, well, strollers. You maybe had two (as we did) -- one for everyday plus a jogger. This worked great, as the everyday stroller folded and fit into the back of the car.

[ It occurs to me that this is shaping up to sound like a lame standup comedy bit. Fair enough. But bear with me. ]

Without naming any (brand) names I will point at a certain brand that to me has pushed the stroller thing totally off the edge. Strollers are now HUGE, and if they do fold it takes a half hour, a set of instructions, and a nap. And did someone say cost? These things go for nearly A THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Ok so here's my take. I'll grant that a good jogging stroller is a must for many families. We certainly love ours (it's the same basic Baby Jogger model that we've had for 11 years). But for everyday? Give me a good old fashioned umbrella stroller. Here's my bulleted list of "why":

>You can get a pretty spiffy one for like $40, and cheapo ones for $20. The decent ones have enough storage underneath for a trip to the park or a small grocery bag, the cheapo ones less so but you can always hang a bag off of the handles.

>They fold up soooooo much easier, and take up a lot less room to boot (now that we have 3 kids we wouldn't even be able to fit one of the mammoth ones in the back w/ all our other junk). 

>Price. Kids stuff (especially stuff that gets folded and otherwise lugged around) is bound to show wear and tear pretty quickly. At between $20-$40 you don't have to sweat it nearly as much. In fact I remember more than one vacation where we didn't even pack a stroller and instead simply bought a cheap one once we arrived then left it behind.

>Manageability. Believe it or not umbrella strollers are actually easier to manage than more expensive ones. Tight corners at the grocery store, bumpy sidewalks, you name it. All easier w/ the cheaper solution.

Ok, if I sat and thought about it some more I know I could add to this list. But I'll stop here. So before you go out and spend a gajillion dollars on some bright orange tank of a thing, check the umbrella aisle. You'll thank me for it. 

Toys that are worth the dough

We don't do much product pushing here, but I was trying to pack away the Thomas the Tank Engine set recently when our oldest screamed that, even though he doesn't play with it anymore, it was critical that the set remain in the house. Made me think about what were the absolute best toy investments we've ever made. In true, Nick Hornby fashion, I'll go with a top five list:

#1 Thomas the Tank Engine
Pound-for-pound our best buy ever. One smart move we made was buying the real Thomas trains and then buying most of the track, knock-off, through Target, etc. More good play out of Thomas than any other toy we've ever bought. Don't, however, expect the younger boys in the family to automatically follow in the footsteps of the oldest in the family. We found Boy Number 2 played with it some and Number 3 almost not at all.

#2 Lego
Most people would put this number one. It's true that as the kids get older, Lego moves ahead of Thomas, particularly the Star Wars variety. In fact, there is a huge community of people on YouTube who actually film Lego Star Wars scenes. Most are suitable for kids viewing.

#3 Playmobil
We have a bunch of these different sets. Some castle/knight-based and some other themes. Good stuff.

#4 Blocks
Giant baskets of all kinds of block shapes are awesome. I don't even know what brands exist since we've gotten them as gifts, but buy the big solid brick-type blocks.

#5
Hot Wheels/Matchbox
Not all of our boys play/played with them, but this was pretty damn reliable across the board. You need to get track at some point to ratchet up the playability, but for the most part, a box of Hot Wheels means you've bought yourself at least a half-hour of playtime.

Ready for kindergarten

Our youngest starts kindergarten tomorrow. Another milestone. In trying to amp up his excitement (and overcome his nerves), we waited until Labor Day to go shopping for a backpack and lunchbox, ones that he could pick out himself and feel good about.

Perhaps we waited a little too long. Tried to avoid Target, but visits to three other stores yielded a cool camo backpack ("Dad, are soldiers good?") but no lunchbox. Hello, Target. (I have nothing against the store itself, and the lines aren't anywhere near as bad as they used to be; now I just hate the parking lot.) By Labor Day, their back-to-school section resembled Saigon after the fall. There were a few lunchboxes for girls, but my man wasn't interested in Hello Kitty. A fellow customer guided us to another aisle that contained three remaining Transformers lunchboxes. I didn't feel great about padding Michael Bay's retirement account, but beggars can't be choosers.

He's ready.

Tutu, Football Helmet, Ninja Sword

My middle child (let's call her Sadie, shall we?) is a hoot. Yeah I know everyone thinks their kids are high-larious, and some of them may even be right.

But I'm not talking about OTHER people's kids, I'm talking about mine. Sadie's older (by 2 years) brother is very athletic, and sports equipment of every type is pretty consistently scattered all over the place. Sadie never went through a heavy Barbie phase but does like to do things like play dress-up. 

[ Side note. Sadie was born very soon after my maternal grandmother passed away. Now I'm no Miss Cleo but I have always felt there was something to that connection. My grandmother was a skeptic in the very best way. Sizing up folks with a slight frown, basically assuming they were dolts and daring them to prove her wrong. Sadie shares this healthy skepticism, as well as my grandmaw's general "Oh yeah? And what of it?" attitude. ]

So cut to a scene from a few weeks ago. Sadie and her brother are both playing downstairs, relatively peacefully (read: no trips to the ER). All of a sudden we hear footsteps on the stairs, and there's Sadie in a (soon-to-be-favorite) get-up.

Frilly pink tutu.    New York Giants football helmet.    Giant plastic Ninja sword.

We were speechless at first. But I soon stammered out some sort of brilliance along the lines of "wow, that's quite an outfit sweetie."

Her response? She stares at me. Narrows her eyes a little bit. Turns on her heels and walks out of the room.

Rock on, Sadie. Rock on.  

The talk

Had a version of "the talk" with my oldest son this weekend. He's a pretty mature almost-ten year-old and was curious about things that his friends have been talking about.

It all started when he asked me what NC-17 meant, having seen the listing of film ratings in a movie theater. I explained that movies rated NC-17 contained scenes that are not appropriate for kids, usually extreme violence or (pause, lower voice) sexual content. He processed that, then said he had another question for me but would wait to ask when his little brother wasn't around. I knew what I was in for. My wife gave me the go-ahead to handle it, so later that evening, my son and I went for a walk.

Halfway up the block he asked, "So, what is sex?" I had done some reading and looked at some books on the subject (of talking to your kids about it) so I felt at least a little prepared. I started by asking him some questions about what his friends thought or knew about it. He said there was a group of his friends who would sometimes huddle together at recess and talk about it. (I found this interesting, because I know that at least three of the kids he mentioned have had some form of the talk with their parents.) He also brought up some YouTube searches done by one friend and some other general schoolyard chatter on the subject. Interestingly, it was clear to him that their knowledge of the subject was hazy at best.

In answering his question, I touched on puberty and how bodies change as we mature. He knew a bit about this, as he's developed a tiny bit of hair on his legs and upper lip. Then I brought up the differences between men's bodies and women's bodies. He's observant enough to have noticed this but didn't have any real understanding of the specifics. We talked about what certain body parts are for as they relate to human reproduction. I started as innocuously as I could with breasts. He knew this one -- milk. Then he asked me what testicles are for. I didn't have to go far before he figured out that they must produce/contain whatever men contribute to the process. We talked about eggs getting fertilized and splitting and growing inside the woman, etc. He took it all in and seemed to understand.

Which led to the big money question -- "But HOW" does the seed get to the egg? Treading carefully, I boiled it down this way -- "the body parts are made to fit together." I wasn't at all sure how I would answer any follow-up questions, but happily, this was enough for him at this point in his life.

We concluded with my suggestion that he keep his newly acquired knowledge to himself, as this is the kind of thing that parents should be responsible for telling their own kids. He concurred.

And so, a milepost of parenthood. I felt quite good about how I handled it. Now I can only hope that in a few more years he doesn't find himself a hormonal wild man like I remember being.

The Inventor / Momtrepreneur

My son Patrick played on a baseball team this summer with another boy named Patrick whose mom, Grace Welch, started and runs a portable diaper changing pad company called Patemm Pads. There's more to say about her and their family than can fit in this blog post, but let's do a run through:

She invented a round diaper changing pad (it's round so babies don't squirm off of them) now made of natural/organic materials that is the coolest portable baby product and shower gift I've ever seen. It fits a few wipes and diapers and a quick change of clothes, whatever you need for short trips, and folds up like some miracle origami crane.

She and her husband Marty have four great kids they've raised in San Francisco (one of which, Patrick, just finished third in the world junior golf tournament at Pinehurst, putting the country clubbers to shame, and did it after cutting his finger and needing three stitches mid-tournament).

They make all these pads in San Francisco.

The pads are used by everyone from Tiger Woods to Roger Federer, Annika Sorenstam and Courtney Cox. (I know because I saw the letters from them on the wall. Not sure I'm supposed to say anything, but...)

They work like crazy but are completely involved in raising their kids and do everything with them. On most days they are pretty insanely busy, but the company and the family are a true American folk tale. (Grace's parents are from the Philippines, so there's also an immigrant success story in there somewhere.)

Pretty cool right? Go out and get one: patemm.com

Freedom

Here's something my wife and I have been mulling for a while -- at what age is it okay for our kids to go for a bike ride on their own?

The answer largely depends on things like the neighborhood you live in and the maturity level of your kid. But how do you know when the time is right? You want to give them some freedom to grow and explore the world on their own, but you also have to protect them. So what's the number?

Eight seems still too young. Thirty-five might be playing it too safe...

Boys Peeing

There are very few times when Dads know more than Moms about the little ones. One of these rare cases is about boys and peeing. Couple big points about this:

1) if you have a boy, when you change their diaper pee will often come shooting out in a rainbow arc all over you and everything in the surrounding area. You always, always, always have to be ready to cover the little guy with a cloth or the coolest product in the world: peepee teepee







2) as they get older(potty-trained) they cannot always keep their pee straight. It is not a case of not pointing at the toilet. they are not being lazy or mean. it's just that they are part of a population that can't shoot straight. you may not know that because the older guys are sometimes better at cleaning up.

you can teach them to clean up but don't hold them accountable for whether they shoot straight in the first place.

onward and upward

rageagainsthebeans

Of dentists and toothpaste

My usually happy-go-lucky five year-old wigged out in the dentist's chair today. Refused to open his mouth. The reason? He didn't like the taste of the toothpaste they were using to (try to) clean his teeth. Toothpastes, I should say, because they tried four different flavors. Cinnamon was met with disdain, followed by disgust at mint and so on. With my approval, the dentist and hygienist finally held his mouth open and, with much positive encouragement and comforting words, got the job done. Sheesh. Less than a minute later, he was smiling and saying 'thank you' for his new 'Go Diego Go' toothbrush. He's not scarred for life, and he'll do better next time.

On a related note, the only brand of toothpaste he seems to tolerate/enjoy is Tanner's Tasty Paste, which they market as 'flavored just for kids.' We've tried three of the flavors and he likes two of them. Which is a lot better than our batting average at our dentist's office today.

The softest generation

I routinely cut the crust off my kids’ sandwiches. I may be spoiling them.

I can feel the spirit of my father nodding.

Birthday wishes fulfilled - Lego

Some of my five year-old’s birthday take. The boy loves Lego. He switches heads and arms and hats on the little figures. And he builds the vehicles, following along step by step, then asks me to take them apart so he can build them again. They’re like 3D puzzles for him, which is great. And I must say that, while a bit pricey, especially at the high-end, all of the pieces are always there, the instructions are correct, and the pieces fit and hold together. Having purchased some knock-off sets, that’s not always true. In sum, he loves Lego, and that’s cool with me.

Now, does anybody have a solid strategy for storing the hundreds of Lego pieces we have, so that finding a particular piece doesn’t take ten minutes and make me question my existence?

Lesson learned - remember to pack the sunscreen

Spent one night in a hotel on our way home from a trip to visit family. In the morning, the kids wanted to hit the hotel pool before we checked out and headed home. Great idea. Everybody into their suits, headed for the door, when we discover that we’ve left our sunscreen behind at our family’s place, now hours away. Of course, they sell sunscreen in the hotel’s little sundries shop. And of course, it’s $12.99 for a six ounce bottle. I think I scared the lady behind the counter with my, “WHAAAT?!” upon hearing the total.

The kicker? The kids swam for about fifteen minutes before another little girl threw up on the steps of the water slide and we went back inside.